January

january is a start-up. especially with our world's condition and my life, i want to plan, something i rarely do, because right now, i feel stuck.

just this afternoon, i went somewhere, a place a lil' bit far from my house. i walked about fifteen steps from our vehicle, taking this particular desolated road. there were food stalls, and me and food, we get along most of the time.

nothing dramatic happened from the outsider's naked eye. i was just there, buying some grilled snacks.

but it was cloudy. the wind caressed my cheeks. the wind was cold. i was wearing my favorite green, parka jacket. i was in my comfy attire. i talked to the kind lady about the desolation of that place. i stared far off, noticing roadsides of bushy, shrubbery greens, its ending in mist, still desolate, and yet, filled with magical possibilities.

and then i realized i missed to be by myself. travel alone. eat alone. shop alone. explore alone. i missed talking with kind strangers. i even missed my weird and risky social experiments (i usually attract people with loose screw in the head). i missed experiencing things by myself.

and it's a freedom i would never stop craving.

who put shackles on your feet to keep you from leaving, from moving forward?

no one but yourself.

january is a month of planning even if you ain't fond of organizing your life events into a particular schedule. january is a month of questions. january is a month of learning about patience. it's when i ask myself, over and over again,

" what 

will you 

sacrifice

in

order

to 

be 

F R E E ? "